a first

and possibly the last. pup and I are fighting. she does not agree with my assessment or views on this.

tween she and I we have hurt L and D more then two loved beings should be hurt.
I started a discussion tonight on collaring because L & pup have diff views. L let off some steam on her shared her hurt for real in front of pup and D and started a discussion, got east coast loud, a a pup alt came out, and told L that she wants collar to show she belongs to me forever, in a committed relationship akin to marriage. L not happy, she is my heart my soul my love my mate, I love pup don't get me wrong but L is forever and a day. I want pup too, greedy fat man. pup/A ignored how her partner/wife/lover/bf sat and cried as she told aloud she wanted commitment to me, i am honored but home needs to be a stable hardcore foundation, before considering a collar commitment in my mind.

how could she ignore those tears and ignore D?
I am disappointed in that. D should be her 1st, middle and last thought everyday on happy life. I should add to that happy NOT detract.

Long story, L raised voice called A(inside person in pup, like my people)a bitch, pup got upset left.

YOU Cant solve anything by running, she says she was verbally abused and yelled at , Ummm NO not ever close by my standards.

she disagrees.

TO be me I have to have honor, integrity and I work hard to heal and make self stronger better to walk, lose lbs. to be with my I require honor, integrity the ability and desire to improve self. I require and desire no less from my gf and or submissive.

this needs to be talked about, she and L and D and I need to sit down and talk honestly and cry and talk, cry, yell, shout, and curse if we are to have chance to be strong unit *fill in name of unit pack, fam,tribe,etc*

pup got upset and dismissed me (( PRETTY FUCKING FUNNY MY SUBMISSIVE DISMISSING HER SIR WTF LOLS))

pup has told me often she loves my strength, my integrity, my honor, my ability to pursue my health goals. well I want her to walk path I walk and use feel these same tools and ways. without them I AM DEAD and i have nothing without honor and integrity.

I told her think about these words and come fight argue if we are to be and work. If she chooses not to I told her I release her.

this is hard. this hurts. love is not wrong people hurting is wrong.
she needs to love respect d and l even if the a part of her doesn't want to. she needs to get grip and control a.

if it ends i will sad and will grieve, has been a painful and exciting and memorable 2 months. I hope she takes my lessons to heart and learns to love respect self if she chooses to take the runaway path *this from man in diapers and needs help getting clean* and pray goddess protects her in all she does and seeks.
i will always remember the love and laughter. fight for this if you need want it. walk away if you don't feel it is worth working on self and spirit and building
the unit that which we want/wanted to belong.

I will eat and cry now. and wonder what pup will choose.